February 2, 2009

Roland Burris: Estate Planner

These are trying times for Illinois residents. They should be the best of times (with our own former Senator in the White House), but Governor Blagojevich changed all that. Now I have to field calls from out-of-state relatives, asking me what's going on with our political system. And, to make matters worse, we get the Roland Burris tombstone issue.

What's that? Evidently the mausoleum for the new junior senator from Illinois has already been built, and it contains the words "Trail Blazer," as well as Senator Burris's resume. The Tribune has the story, here. The Senator's explanation?

"I'm an estate planner. I try to convince people to plan for your pre-needs," he explained. "It's best to have your crypts or your mausoleum already set aside. It takes a major burden off of your family."

As for his résumé chiseled in granite, Burris said, "that wasn't me."

"The cemetery in Oak Woods insisted when I went out to plan my estate that my résumé be put on it. That wasn't me. That was the manager of the funeral home," he said. "They insisted that my résumé be put up and they came up with that design and did all that."

So not only is this guy another embarrassing Illinois politician, but he's also an estate planner? An estate planner who can get talked into things by a cemetery? Ugh.

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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January 22, 2008

The Petticoat Will, and Beneficiaries as Witnesses

This article is an interesting one on the use of strange documentary evidence in court. The last item mentioned is the relevant one for my purposes:

MISS LILLIAN PELKEY’S PETTICOAT In Los Angeles, before the Second World War, George W. Hazeltine, 86, lay ill in hospital. He wanted to make a new will and leave $10,000 to his nurses, Lillian Pelkey and Madeline Higgins. There being no paper to hand, Miss Pelkey pulled up her dress, placed a board under her petticoat, and the will was pencilled on her undergarment. The petticoat was eventually admitted to probate but the nurses were prevented from benefiting from the will because they were attesting witnesses of it.

In Illinois the rule about beneficiaries as witnesses is as follows (this is from Section 4-6(a) of the Illinois Probate Act):

If any beneficial legacy or interest is given in a will to a person attesting its execution or to his spouse, the legacy or interest is void as to that beneficiary and all persons claiming under him, unless the will is otherwise duly attested by a sufficient number of witnesses as provided by this Article exclusive of that person and he may be compelled to testify as if the legacy or interest had not been given, but the beneficiary is entitled to receive so much of the legacy or interest given to him by the will as does not exceed the value of the share of the testator's estate to which he would be entitled were the will not established.

That's a sort of convoluted way of saying this:

1. If you are a beneficiary of a Will and a witness to the Will, you can't inherit your share. Neither can anyone "claiming under" you (like a child of yours if you predecease the testator).

2. Ditto for the case where you witness a Will and your spouse is named as a beneficiary -- your spouse can't inherit his or her share.

3. There's an exception to the two above rules if there are at least two other witnesses who are NOT named as beneficiaries in the Will, who can attest to its accuracy. But under this exception, you can't inherit more than you would if the testator died without a Will. An example:


Joe Smith is a widower with three children. He does a Will leaving 1/2 of his estate to his daughter Susan and 1/4 of his estate to each of his two sons. Susan witnesses the Will along with two officials from Mr. Smith's bank. Upon Mr. Smith's death, Susan can inherit only 1/3rd of her father's property (since that is what she would receive if he had died intestate).

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post

Posted In: The Lighter Side , Wills and Trusts

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July 4, 2007

Fun Quotes Edition

Happy 4th of July! I'm taking the day off from blogging (kind of), but thought I'd share a few quotes:

My friend Julie, a former lawyer and accountant, defines the lottery as "a tax on people who can't do math."

My friends Michelle and John, on health care powers of attorney:

Michelle: If you were in a coma, I'd never pull the plug. I'd come and talk to you every day.

John: And that's why I'll never name you as my agent under my health care power of attorney.

And finally, at the risk of being one of "those" parents who shares charming quotes from their children:

Me: I bought a couple of suits to wear to court.

My daughter, Sophia: I hope you didn't buy them from a peddler!

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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December 19, 2006

Ken Lay's Bequest

The Onion has its take on the Ken Lay - Enron debacle in this article, entitled "Ken Lay's Children Inherit 4,000 Pensions."  An excerpt:

"We were surprised and deeply moved that Dad had arrangements in place to provide for us after his passing," said the mogul's son, Mark Lay. "With his unbelievably generous legacy, we'll never have to worry about money again, unlike a lot of people here in Houston."

The younger Lay said that, as youths, he and his siblings were taught by their father to take an interest in the business he built and defrauded, and never to forget where their wealth came from.

...

In addition to providing for the financial security of his family, Lay stipulated in his will that a large part of his embezzled fortune be donated to the many charities he and his wife Linda supported, including the Houston YMCA, where many former Enron employees now reside.

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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July 13, 2006

Fun with Caselaw

I was reviewing the Illinois Law Update section of this month's Illinois Bar Journal when I came across this classic case headline:

Campground operator has no duty to warn of naturally accumulating walnuts

The downside of working only in the estate planning and probate arenas is that I don't get to flex my knowledge about other areas of law.  (Actually, the downside is that I don't know anything about other areas of law.)  Now this problem is solved!

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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February 15, 2006

The Onion on Personal Property Disputes

Disputes over a decedent's personal property are fairly common.  Now The Onion is weighing in with its own humorous take on the issue:

Grandmother Will Live On In Arguments Over Her Wedding China

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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January 24, 2006

John Hodgman on Negotiation

John Hodgman, a contributor to NPR's "This American Life," has written a book entitled The Areas of My Expertise.  Mr. Hodgman claims the book is the successor to works like Poor Richard's Almanack, but the big differences are that (1) nothing in the book appears to be true and (2) Mr. Hodgman's areas of expertise include werewolves, hoboes (including a list of 700 potential hobo names), and "History's Worst Men's Haircuts."  One of my favorite sections of the book includes Mr. Hodgman's "Five Secrets of Successful Negotiation" -- number 4 is a keeper:

A bestselling author on the subject of "negotiation" reminds: "Negotiation requires compromise.  Each party must gain something, and each must give something up.  Before you begin your negotiation, privately consider what you are willing to give away.  Now gather all of that material together and put it in a sack.  Hide the sack in a secure location, such as a cave that is laced with explosives that you can detonate by remote control.  Take the remote control in with you to the negotiation.  As any experience negotiator knows, in order to succeed, you must be willing to walk away from the deal at any moment, and then blow up the cave.  Note: The sack should be made of velvet."

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: Alternative Dispute Resolution , Book Notes , The Lighter Side

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December 20, 2005

Lawyer Fun

Before I head off for the holidays, I wanted to share two quick items:

1. Evidently, Britney Spears is suing US Weekly for $20 million over their allegation that Ms. Spears and her husband, Kevin Federline, "feared the release of a secret sex tape, which they had viewed with their estate planning lawyers."  ABC News has the story here.  I think Ms. Spears has a good case -- in my experience, estate planning lawyers are rarely called in to view secret sex tapes.

2. Last night's episode of "Arrested Development" featured an appearance by Scott Baio as attorney Bob Loblaw.  In the episode, we learned that Mr. Loblaw also has his own website, known as (what else?) The Bob Loblaw Law Blog.

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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November 29, 2005

Grieving "Peanuts" and Estate Planning

It's great to see big companies putting estate planning information on the internet.  However, Christopher Bahn from The Onion's AV Club Blog makes a pretty funny observation:

[H]ere's my all-time favorite official Peanuts tie-in: Charlie Brown and his friends are the corporate mascots of Metropolitan Life Insurance, and their images are festooned all over the company's website—which leads to this unintentionally bizarre and disquieting juxtaposition. Who do you suppose he's grieving for? Based on the available evidence, possibly Sally.

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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May 11, 2005

"Fear Factor" Creator's Will (Satire)

Clients will occasionally try to use Wills and trusts to control the behavior of their beneficiaries.  For instance, a beneficiary might receive trust funds only if he or she completes regular drug testing. 

Today's issue of The Onion addresses this topic in the newspaper's own satirical manner, with this article.  The title says it all:

Fear Factor Creator's Will: 'Heirs Must Eat My Ashes To Collect Inheritance'

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: The Lighter Side

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April 12, 2005

The Case of the Grand Send-off

Ruth Morrow of Bedford, Iowa was a former bookkeeper.  A widow with no children, she left her $1 million estate to a number of charitable beneficiaries.

As I've discussed before, the administration of a probate estate follows a certain order -- debts and expenses are paid, and then (finally) distribution is made to the beneficiaries.  In Mrs. Morrow's estate, things got interesting at the "debts and expenses" stage, when...

"Two nieces, who inherited nothing, but were among the 83-year-old Morrow's few surviving relatives, decided on a grand send-off. They would buy a $51,000 solid-bronze casket, fly it to California, pay a local funeral director to escort it, and bury Aunt Ruth in a famous Hollywood Hills cemetery where Bette Davis, Lucille Ball, Telly Savalas, Liberace and other stars are buried. The price for the November funeral was $64,089.76. The average cost of an Iowa funeral is $8,514."

All heck broke loose when the nieces sought payment of the funeral bill -- the executor refused, and asked the probate court to decide whether the expense was justified.  (The charities, whose share of the estate will be reduced if the bill is paid, say it wasn't.)  Was Mrs. Morrow a spendthrift who wanted all of her money to pass to charity or a showbiz type who longed to be buried near Kojak  and Mr. Showmanship?  A judge will decide.

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: Estate and Trust Administration , The Lighter Side

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March 31, 2005

Appraising a Haunted House

It's often said that appraisals are an art, not a science.  But, as this article (from the always interesting REALTYgram Blogger) indicates, certain appraisals may in fact be a science, and that science may be parapsychology. 

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: Real Estate - Non-Tax Issues , The Lighter Side

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March 11, 2005

The Lighter Side of Tax Excuses

When it comes to creating a defense to the charge of tax evasion, I don't know which excuse is worse:

  • A variation on the Steve Martin bit about forgetting to pay your taxes (see the case detailed here); or
  • Richard Hatch's "I thought CBS was withholding taxes from my winnings check" defense (discussed here)? 

Posted by Joel A. Schoenmeyer | | Email This Post | Comments (0)

Posted In: Income Tax , The Lighter Side

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